I’ve been waiting so long to meet him, and yesterday was so surreal. He was so tiny, so new, so undamaged, so perfect. I cried a little when I first got to hold him; I was just overwhelmed with awe and how much I loved someone that I just meet. Frick, I was surprised that I was holding someone who wasn’t even an hour old. It was an experience unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
Thankfully, I had my trusty roommate there to take all sorts of pictures and get me a Mountain Dew for the late drive home from the hospital. Emotions and adrenaline were both running high that day, and so a crash was to be expected. So we both caffeinated ourselves for the drive home and of course, we couldn’t sleep when we did finally get home. We talked for hours about a lot of random things. Things about life, reflections on our experiences, the usual. A lot of it was brought to the surface at seeing such potential in our arms that evening. My little Jake (I’ve got to come up with a better nickname for him than just Jake. EVERYONE will call him Jake. I need something awesome…any ideas?) has a whole life ahead of him. He’s got a clean slate. He can do ANYTHING. It’s just… inspiring…
Mostly, I sort of rambled at Beth about what I want for his life… and what I don’t want. Above everything else, I want him to be happy. On the flip side, above all else, I don’t want him to suffer from the depression that tends to affect damn near everyone in my family. Yeah, we’re a happy bunch. Fortunately, no one ever seems to get the blues at the same time (except for me and my Mom, but we’re always singin’ the blues together). I just want him to have everything, and I’ll do everything I can to make sure that he gets it.
And when I met him and introduced myself, I promised him that he could always come to my house to make trouble. And that’s one promise that I’ll always keep.