Tag Archives: DC

Sorry for the Convenience

“Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience” – Mitch Hedberg

So any of you who live in the DC area and ride Metro are well aware of the elevator/escalator problems that our decaying public transportation system has. During the Rally for Sanity, an escalator in L’Enfant Plaza suffered from a brake failure and collapsed, injuring several people and causing quite a pile-up. I live on the Red Line, which has been undergoing intense maintenance since the crash in June of 2009, and I have come to accept the fact that there are delays pretty much every other day. I read about people complaining about Metro in The Express, and the answers given aren’t very encouraging. So I’ve just come to accept that I should be grateful that we have public transportation at all and that things will be fixed when they’re fixed.  Coming from a city with absolutely no public transportation at all, I honestly thought Metro was the greatest thing ever when I first moved here. Now, I cautiously watch the ceiling in the Farragut North station, waiting for a chunk of concrete with my name on it to come crashing down.

But I think people make too big of a deal about how slowly Metro is fixing itself. Metro has budget problems just like everyone else, and they’re doing their best. They’re under a lot of heat right now from the public and the media, so things are going to get fixed; we just have to be patient. At least we don’t have huge rats wandering around, stealing our lunches and possibly training mutant turtles of adolescent age to become ninjas (although that would be really cool and I’d be jealous of NY if that actually happened…).

So with that said, I would just like to share my experience of confusion and joy this morning. One of the escalators at Farragut North has been out of commission for about 5 months, meaning that riders have had to walk to the other side of the platform to ride up, or walk up the other escalator that was “temporarily” stairs. Not a huge inconvenience, but still mildly annoying. As I exited my train this morning, still sleepy and lacking coffee, I turned to the right like I always do to climb the temporary stairs. And I stopped and stared in wonder. Instead of a stopped escalator next to a closed-off-in-work escalator, there was a stopped one and, GLORY HALLELUJAH!, a pristine escalator going up. I looked behind me to the other side-by-side escalators to make sure that I didn’t just get turned around in the morning, but there were the two reliably working ones that had always been there. The escalator really was fixed. Now normally, I walk up the escalators even when they’re moving, but to savor every moment of this miracle this morning, I just stood and enjoyed the slow progression upwards.

It’s the little things in life that make a day awesome. Happy Friday.

Preparing for the Apocalypse

University of Denver. Bike racks. Taken by moi

The Apocalypse is surely coming. Yes, I know that doomsday theorists have been around and popular for hundreds of years, but I firmly believe that the end of the world will happen in our lifetime. Just look at DC in the past year. We’ve had a record blizzard, record heat, record earthquake, and yesterday a storm that knocked out most of the power in the DC/Maryland area. And THIS kid does NOT like power outages.

Yesterday afternoon and last night it was sort of fun. Beth and I lit all the candles in the house, played around with our disaster backpack (I wore a hardhat for awhile), made shadow puppet shows on the wall, and generally giggled and played with the flashlight. Downsides were: I was in the middle of baking bread int he bread machine, so it didn’t rise all the way and is very doughy-still edible though; I was in the middle of laundry, so all of my whites load had to hang dry and is all stiff this morning; the roof leaked and I had to move my entire closet out into my bedroom and call the maintenance guys in. There is now a bucket in the attic and a promise that someone will come out to fix it soon. But come’on Pepco. This is sort of ridiculous now. A third of Montgomery County’s street lights aren’t working? Over 220,000 residents don’t have power?? This might take several days to remedy?!?!?! Not cool, Pepco, definitely, not cool. Do you KNOW how hard it is to get ready in the morning by candlelight with no hairdryer or straightening iron?!?! I didn’t even attempt to put on make-up in the flickering candlelight. All this power-outage stuff has made me realize that the Apocalypse might not be the fun anarchy I once thought it would be.

Yes, I am one of those people that absolutely cannot WAIT for the zombie uprising. Beth and I have plans, weapons, and tactics all thought out. We have several scenarios based on different variables for when the flesh-eating walking dead come out to play, and we’re both very much looking forward to it. I need a few zombies and a little anarchy to relieve some of the stress that’s been building up over the years. There’s nothing like running through the streets with a sawed off shot-gun or machete, hacking your way through a swarm of oozing, groaning predators, to make you forget about bill payments, student loans, and ex-boyfriends. But even if the apocalypse doesn’t come in the form of zombies (God I hope it does), it’ll happen some other way in our lifetime. Nuclear war, comet, natural disaster, gamma rays from a dying neighbor star lightyears away, famine, disease, biological warfare, alien invasion–the possibilities are endless. And I’ve definitely been watching too many shows on the History and Discovery channels about this. I just want it to be one of the possibilities where I survive the initial majority of the population being wiped out so that I can have a little fun among the anarchy before I too perish. Of course, with my luck, I’ll be the first to get the disease, or in the city that the bomb is dropped/the asteriod hits, etc.

This recent power outage has made Beth and I realize though that we are not as prepared as we once thought we were. I got bored almost instantly yesterday and annoyed her into entertaining me. We also realized how much we rely on electricity to make food. (Oh yeah, yesterday morning, we just went out and stocked up the fridge again. Aaaaaand we’re probably gonna have to throw it all out. This is the thing that irritated me the most about this whole lovely experience.) I’m really not adjusting well to this no electricity/caveman situation. Of course, except for the food part, the things that I’m disliking most about this power outage won’t really be an issue when the end of the world comes. I won’t have to get up and still try to look professional for work; I’ll just hack my hair off, be dirty, and love every minute of it! And I won’t be bored when I’m trying desperately to survive. I just have to figure out the food part. Hmmmm time to read survival strageties and how to eat in the woods, etc.

So basically, when it really is the end of the world as we know, I’ll feel better than fine. 🙂

Hello DC, or “Thoughts on having a roommate”

So, I just moved to Washington DC from Indianapolis, IN. I’m only slightly freaking out from this huge change in my life. Most of my life is still scattered in boxes around the house. But I have my Bethany, so I’m super happy, and I feel like I can handle most challenges that life tosses my way. We just moved in Saturday. And the 10 hour drive was KILLER. My butt was so numb. But I did have my teddy bear on my lap for most of the roadtrip. It was comforting, and we have the same shades, so people kept giving me weird looks. And yes, I do thoroughly enjoy being a weirdo. Normal people are boring.

Tips for long roadtrips:

BE CRAZY!!! It helps the time go by faster. Do things like hang up weird signs in your car or make faces at children in passing cars. Hours of fun.

Flex your butt. It keeps it from going to sleep and maybe you’ll have killer cheeks by the end of the trip!

Water, juice, more water. It keeps you hydrated and alert. It also makes you stop to pee all the time, giving you an excuse to stretch your legs. Don’t drink soda; it makes you pee more and it’ll make you crash.

No guilt snacks: Like pretzels! Low calories so that you can just graze for most of the trips, therefore avoiding gross fast food and giving you something to do.

MUSICALS: They tell a story to keep you entertained and you can sing at the top of your lungs to them in the car cause no one is there to judge you. And I don’t care if other people see me singing and dancing in my car. It’s the one place where I can sing at the top of my lungs without the neighbors getting pissed.

But this post is about having a roommate, not how to roadtrip! I love Beth. We lived together our freshman and sophomore years of college, so we know that we live well together. We have lots of the same tastes and are the same kinds of crazy. We always say that I’m just a figment of her imagination or that she’s just a figment of mine. Most likely, she’s just a figment of mine cause no one can really be as weird as me. But I did just google the last name of the character Jordan from Scrubs while she was in the bathtub because she couldn’t think of Jordon’s surname and it was driving her crazy. We have so many inside jokes… it’s probably dangerous that we’re living together… But it’s so fantastic at the same time.

The best part of living with a roommate again is the balance that comes from a solid friendship. Living with my mother after college was hard because we couldn’t find the right balance between me being a “grown-up” and still being her daughter. But that’s completely gone with Beth (obviously). We’re both equals in the house. Although she is the man/Chandler in our relationship while I am the woman/Joey. And in every post that involves Beth, there will also be numerous Scrubs and Friends references and probably a few from Will & Grace as well. We’re starting a tradition of watching Buffy every Sunday night too because I haven’t seen that series yet. And I’ll probably make her watch Weeds. Yes, we pretty much always have a TV on in the background of whatever we’re doing. We currently have four TVs hooked up in the living room. One for each of us to play video games on, and one to watch TV while we play video games. And that last one… eh, just sort of there. Yes, we are that nerdy. And it’s fantastic. Oh my god tangent! BALANCE. Yes, this paragraph is about balance. She knows about living on her own, while I am the expert on living with lots of people. We both take turns cooking and doing dishes. We both are clean freaks. We both like to sit around in our underwear. I can reach the things on the top shelves because she’s very small. And the biggest way that we balance each other… is that we complete each other’s collections. I have the first Matrix movie and she has the last two. I have most of the Disney movies and she has most of the Fox/Dreamworks/Pixar movies. Our libraries compliment each other very well, and I’m very excited to dive in to her book collection just as she is with mine. And we both sing musicals at the top of our lungs together. And she’s going to teach me how to use public transportation. What!? I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life, I don’t know how to figure out a bus/metro schedule…

An MS Paint picture that Beth made freshman year of Beth stabbing me in my sleep.

Beth and I have never really had a fight of any sort. Our biggest rift was when I joined a sorority and had to live in the house for at least a year, meaning that I couldn’t live with her all four years of college. She wasn’t enthused about that. We sort of drifted apart junior year because we weren’t living together and I was going through some massive transformations, but we were always friends. I think part of the reason that Beth and I work so well together is that we don’t really fight. If we have a problem, we talk about it, or let it be for a few days and then talk about it. But she’s very mature, chill and really doesn’t get offended easily. I just love this picture that she made for me freshman year. Her caption for it on Facebook was “I DON’T LOVE MY ROOMMATE ANYMORE” and then a whole comment conversation took place about not even giving me hair which led to me somehow being a cancer patient and not deserving hair, and what, cancer patients don’t deserve hair, you’re fucked up, etc. Always good for a laugh. I really wonder what I did to provoke this picture… probably left cheese in the microwave. Beth is not a fan of cheese. I am. Edit: After several text messages guilting me over not remembering why she made this picture and calling me an asshole several times, she told me. Apparently I made an MS Paint picture of her kneeling in front of her at-the-time sort-of-but-not-really boyfriend that said “I will love *insert guy’s name here* for eternity” and posted it on Facebook with tags. Oh MS Paint wars… I miss those… *evil idea* MUAHAHAHA

Anyway, I guess what this long and ramble-tastic post is about is the importance of “sismance.” You know, the opposite of “bromance.” It’s especially important for women to foster close relationships with other women because we fulfill each other in ways that men never will. Ok, now that I sound like a HUGE lesbian, I’m gonna say that I love my roommate and can’t wait to share all the ridiculous stories, situations, and adventures that we’ll get ourselves in to. (And she is a lesbian [most of the time]  btw, so I’m allowed to make lesbian jokes by proxy.) Oh, and I’ll post some pictures of the apartment as soon as it gets unpacked and put away… HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right, like that’ll ever happen…